On Dreams and Marriage

Lest anyone should think, after my last post, that my vacation dreams take second place to my husband's, let me assure you otherwise. We make decisions together. Because he loves boating and I love him, I'm thrilled that he has a boat. Because I love Europe and he loves me, I've been to Paris three times.  

We live in an amazing part of the world and I'm thrilled to explore it with him. I'm excited about going to remote areas accessible only by boat to see fjords and mountains, waterfalls and running tides. To sit in silence and hear the loons call at night in a quiet anchorage, while I'm lulled to sleep by the rocking waves. It's no sacrifice for me. Nor is going to Europe one for him. We respect each other's dreams and plan ways to make them both work.

I did a quick search on the words "compromise and dreams" before writing this post. Without fail the advice was "never compromise." So I ask myself, and you, is it compromise to see another's dream fulfilled while yours waits awhile in the wings? Is compromise giving up a dream? Is compromise a weak and nasty word, or a bridge between two widely differing viewpoints?  

Victoria

In the early 1990s I lived, with my family, in a small village on the edge of the Amazon jungle. My husband was the administrator of a small interdenominational mission hospital. I looked after my children, taught piano and art, worked with the Ecuadorian children in an after school club, and hosted a lot of guests from around the world. 

Our mission offered the service of collecting printed materials - books, magazine subscriptions - at the head office in the USA. Several times a year boxes were sent down in large shipments. You cannot imagine the joy it was to receive printed materials in English. I loved sorting through the boxes, placing each family's items in piles. 

I subscribed to Victoria magazine, among others. Victoria was my favorite. Several issues arrived at the same time, always several months behind. I hoarded them, allowing myself to read only one each month, knowing that if I devoured them all at once, I'd have to wait for another shipment to arrive.  

Magazines were shared with friends. Some of my friends couldn't understand the appeal that Victoria held for me. It didn't have many self-help articles, no diet advice, no exercise regimes, and few recipes. Instead, the pages were filled with beautiful photographs, inspiring quotes, and thoughtful essays. To me, Victoria represented the kind of life that I longed to live, one filled with books and flowers, comfort, beauty, and intentional living. 

What a treat it was for me to anticipate an afternoon hour with a cup of tea (in a china cup), curled up on my couch in my second floor living room which was shaded by a huge tree in which monkeys frequently sat and peered into our home. The world of Victoria was miles and cultures away, yet the magazine inspired me to see beauty in everyday life and to create a home that was beautiful for my family and guests. I didn't have access to the items shown on the pages, but the sentiments and intent resonated strongly with my emotions and thoughts.  

I saved the magazines to read and re-read, returning to this quotation or that illustration. When we shipped our belongings home, I knew I couldn't take my 10-year stash with me. I sorted out a few of my favorite issues and gave the rest away. Then I noticed the occasional issue in thrift stores and I began picking them up again. Friends heard about my collection and contributed to it. 

I have not spent as much time looking at my old issues of Victoria in the past few years. Lately, I've wondered if it was time to let them go. However, before doing so, I thought I'd page through them once more. And I find that, although they take up space on my bookshelves, they do no harm, and they continue to bring me pleasure. I think I'll keep them for awhile longer.

Brenda, from It's a Beautiful Life is holding a giveaway featuring a book written and illustrated by one of Victoria's artists. Pop on over, if you like, to see what it's all about. 

From the Back of My Mind

I gave up making New Year's resolutions years ago. If something needs to be changed in my life, and I realize it, I'll begin resolving the issue at the moment. Goals and resolutions grow out of real life, not a date on the calender. That said, it's hard to avoid thinking about change and growth when talk shows, newscasters, magazines and online reading focuses on the topic. It's not a bad thing. 

some of my stash

We've moved twice in the past 3 years. There's nothing like having to pack up all your fabric, scrapbooking supplies, knitting yarn, and paints to make you realize how much stuff you really have. That "you" I'm talking about is really "me." For the past year, I've been resolving to use up what I have. The progress is slow and sporadic, but sure. 

Lately, I've been thinking, not just of using stuff up, but making the most of what I have. Those photography books, for example. I've looked at them, I've tried out a few things on my camera, but I've not delved into really using it to its fullest capability. I want to. I will. Especially now that I've written it for the world (my readers) to see.  

 a section of my bookshelf



A few years ago, before beginning my B.A. in French, I did a little free-lance writing. I had some success, articles in newspapers, cooking magazines, Today's Christian Woman, Romantic Homes, and others, but it's a tough slog. And rather isolating. I love teaching and will continue to do so, but the writing urge is tickling again. Since my birthday in October, I've been writing a short (500 word) essay each night. There are book ideas brewing in my brain. Possibilities. I don't know where the writing will take me, but I'm going to enjoy the ride.


So there. I guess I do have some resolutions for this new year. 

Susan Branch wrote a post entitled "The Care and Feeding of Dreams." It's lovely. My French degree is something I dreamed about for a long time until finally just decided to do it.  Don't we all have dreams? For ourselves? For others? Dreams can be small, like beginning a small garden plot, or large, like writing a book or traveling the world. They are also highly flexible: perhaps a garden will begin with a few containers of herbs, or a grand tour of Europe with books and movies. Sometimes dreams have to be surrendered, but new ones will come to take their place. To dream, to envision the future, is a human trait. Don't suppress your dreams, adjust them, make them work.

Well. This post went on a ramble. But that's the way it is with writing.