Wednesday, May 10, 2017

A Ramble Through My Mazy Mind

I once read an essay that categorized essays as rambles through an author's mazy mind. Hence the title of my post. Many essayists manage to wander around and yet arrive at some clear conclusion. This post is less of an essay and more of a ramble.

This evening I took a walk through the neighbourhood. Delightful smells of freshly cut grass mingled with sweet lilacs. Rain is in the forecast and I think everyone is cutting their lawns beforehand. We did ours last night. Tim does the trimming and I mow until he's finished trimming, by which time I'm happy to relinquish the mower as I will have arrived at the steepest part of the back lawn. 

I'm listening to the sounds of Tim retrofitting drawers into a set of kitchen cabinets. Some day we'll redo the kitchen, but I get so frustrated with the storage of small containers. I've tried baskets, but one can only reach so far into bottom cabinets without crouching right down and crawling halfway in. I'm thankful for a talented and hard-working husband. 

I'm also thankful for good friends, and a lovely Sunday afternoon of boating. We gathered at the boat launch and set our heading to Salt Spring Island for a late lunch. Being out on the water tends to make us forget about life on land for a few hours. We sleep very well after a boating trip, except that I tend to feel the motion of the boat when I close my eyes. The room seems to be going back and forth, just a little. 

I'm thinking about Mother's Day this Sunday. Did you know that Anna Jarvis, the originator of this day to honour mothers, regretted ever coming up with the idea? She was horrified at the way a simple celebration had been hijacked by the floral and card industries. 

Be that as it may, I'm very thankful for my mother and her love, guidance, and example. My mother-in-law is also wonderful. I'm thankful for the opportunity I've had to become a mother, and now a grandmother.

But I know of many women for whom this day is agony. Some have longed for children and have not been given any. Others wait in cycles of hope and disappointment. In the past couple of years, our eldest daughter and her husband have lost four little heartbeats, now safe in heaven. It's hard. We are all thankful for the little girl they do have, but the loss of the others aches still and there are times when I am overwhelmed with grief. 

We will celebrate Mother's Day with joy. Our three grandchildren will fill our gathering with exuberant delight. I am overjoyed when I spend time with them. But I will also be conscious of those for whom this day is difficult, and my thoughts will be filled with tenderness for them.

I'm looking at this bouquet of flowers, picked from my garden last night. Cornflowers, a few last tulips, Bluebells, Candy Tuft, and Lemon Balm.

I'm planning to pick some rhubarb tomorrow. Shall I make a rhubarb cheesecake bars, or just stew it to serve over ice cream? Decisions, decisions. Which would you choose?    


  1. Mazy is definitely not a word used often. But your maze of thoughts managed to meet together at the end. :) Your garden bouquet is absolutely delightful. All holidays and celebrations have been hijacked by some industry wanting to increase sales. What I cherish most are the scribbles and handmade cards my boys gave to me when they were younger. I have a couple of friends who were just never able to have children and made their peace with it. It seems such a shame as they are all such kind, loving people and would have made great parents, but obviously God had other plans. Have a wonderful Thursday!

  2. I like this sort of post, Lorrie. I'm hoping to take some creative turns with my blog posts in the future.
    First I have extend my sympathy to your daughter and her husband on their losses. This is a very hard day as well as Father's Day and many holidays when we celebrate with our children. So very heartbreaking. My daughter and her husband were almost sure that they could not conceive and were ready to start expensive measures, then almost miraculously she became pregnant with Madelyn. I can't imagine how this sweet girl of mine who has always loved children, could not be a mother. So...please know I'm sending prayers in abundance that you are blessed with more know what I mean.

    Oh yes, to be on the water. Love it but if I'm standing a lot, I get the 'wave' feeling long after being ashore! Still. well worth the fun!

    Jane x

  3. Lovely ramble, Lorrie. We have had our Mothering Sunday some weeks ago. I hope you have a wonderful day with your family.
    Your garden must be ahead of us here as we have no flowers ready for picking yet. I have planted Cornflowers and stocks but they are very tiny yet.

  4. Here in the UK, Mothers Day is celebrated in March but it was nice to take a moment and think of my sweet parents who I am going down to visit tomorrow. Hope you have a wonderful weekend with your family. I did have a little garden envy when I saw your beautiful bouquet. I feel for your daughter which is why I am sharing this about myself. I would have had 7 babies had they all lived, I lost 4 sweet heartbeats before going on to having 3 beautiful daughters. They will be in my prayers.

  5. Rhubarb Custard Pie... 🤗

    How interesting about Mrs. Jarvis's regrets. I guess that I am a true Capitslist because I see the benefits of the floral and card industry doing well as a result. Everyone has choices I say.

    Yes, Mother's Day has its share of sorrows as do all honored days. It is part of this wonderful mess we call life. I am not sure why I focus on the sadness when, most often, the joys far outweigh the sorrows. I have been thinking about this a lot this month in particular and trying to look higher.

    What wonderful rambles and ramblings, Lorrie. I have enjoyed reading them. That bit about essayists having mazy minds may have frightened me. I do love essays and essayists, which is why I love blogs so well. 😏

  6. Oh, the cheesecake bars, for sure. You can't go wrong there!

  7. My heart hurts for your daughter and for you as I consider those four little heartbeats, for it is a very real loss. How well I remember the first Mother's Day after we lost our sweet baby. Of course, I rejoiced in the treasured gifts of my other children and I loved and appreciated my mother and mother-in-law no less . . . and yet, there was a palpable feeling of loss amidst the celebration.

    The blue flower with the grassy green background? Stunning photograph. I would frame that one!

    And I'd choose the rhubarb cheesecake bars. Cheesecake over ice cream, always.

  8. A most beautiful post, Lorrie. Yes, I agree...what a painful thing to have gone through losing 4 little goodness, one would be hard enough. Beautiful flowers from your garden! I thought they were surely an arrangement you purchased! I do hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day.

  9. I love mazy mind wanderings, Lorrie! It's been many decades since I've been in a boat but yes I do remember, after reading what you wrote, that unexplainable feeling of peace and contentment that came to me when we were out on the water, especially the days when we'd go with friends on their houseboat. The simplest meals tasted better there, and that lifting and falling when anchored was just like a baby being rocked to sleep.

    My heart goes out to your family who know that four darlings await them in heaven but still can't help but long for them to have been here within the circle of your arms. One of my best friends remained childless after losing her husband at a very young age and she would have been such a wonderful mother. She is near my age now and I've wished so many times that she had grandchildren gathered around her for they would adore her.

    I know that yours do you!

  10. A lovely ramble Lorrie. I enjoyed reading your thoughts. So sorry for the loss of your little ones. Mother's Day is a sensitive time for many. I was just talking to a older single lady from church who told me she doesn't come to church on Mother's Day or Father's Day. Enjoy your time with your loved ones gathered round! I'd go with cheesecake bars. :)

  11. A lovely ramble and I love the words 'mazy mind'. Beautiful photos too.
    Sending love to you and your family x
    Helen xox

  12. I enjoyed your post Lorrie, both the amazing photographs and your thoughtful words.

    Yes it is so true while some can so easily celebrate Mother's Day (we have ours a lot earlier in the UK) others may not and I so agree with your words "But I will also be conscious of those for whom this day is difficult, and my thoughts will be filled with tenderness for them."

    All the best Jan

  13. I enjoyed your ramble. - I'd do the cheesecake bars. - Hope you all have a lovely Mother's Day.

  14. Your bouquet looks good enough to eat - and I think at least the cornflowers are edible, aren't they?

  15. Anonymous7:07 PM

    Lorrie, I don't think I've ever tasted rhubarb. Your pictures are lovely especially the deep blue color of the water! Gorgeous!!

  16. Oh the cornflowers sing to me. Something I don't have in my garden. Love the blue so very much. Until this past year I didn't like rhubarb, but last year traveling in England we had several amazing desserts at tea with rhubarb and it completely changed my mind. Wonderful rhubarb syrups, delicious on ice cream. The lilacs too sing to my heart.

    Now for some reason mother's day has never appealed to me, but now I am excited to celebrate for my daughter being a mother. I was so excited I couldn't wait to give her the gift I made for her. So now I don't have anything for her on Sunday, oh well.

    Happy Mother's Day!

  17. Lorrie, I never celebrate anything the greeting card, flower and candy companies want me to! :D But I would choose the stewed rhubarb over vanilla ice cream. I hope I can get my hands on some rhubarb - I missed it altogether last year.

  18. Your photographs are so lovely.
    Wishing you a happy Mother's Day. It's at a different time of the year over here and as we don't have children I keep telling my husband that I'm the mother of this house, but he's not buying it lol Your bouquet is beautiful - never would have thought of putting lemon balm in with the flowers - first job this morning :)
    have a lovely week.

  19. A mazy mind; love it! How representative of my own mind, ever since I can remember!

    Have just caught up with a few of your previous posts - your grands, like their grandma, I'm sure, will grow to love Butchart Gardens for its flowers, too. How easy it is for so many of us to identify with Anne; I must go back and revisit Green Gables, on the pages, and hopefully, one day, in person. Your daughter's Vancouver neighbourhood sounds charming. I'm pleasantly surprised to read that chickens are part of the community!

    Lorrie, your beautiful photos are always accompanied by such literary eloquence, no matter the subject matter. It must be very challenging to have gone through such losses, for your daughter, but, thankfully, she is blessed to have her little girl.

    Wishing you a most memorable Mother's Day, filled with love and joy and serenity.


  20. The cheesecake bars sound yummy and I always liked to add berries with rhubarb. I miss my kids on Mother's day but I'm sure I'll have a nice day. (I keep telling myself) Enjoy your weekend! Hugs, Diane

  21. I enjoyed your 'rambling essay'. How lovely to be able to pack a picnic and slip off to an island for lunch. Sounds delightful!

    Have a wonderful Mother's Day. My heart goes out to all who find the day difficult, especially those who have lost wee heartbeats. As for dessert? The kids will prefer ice cream; the moms will choose rhubarb cheesecake.

  22. Do ramble often, Lorrie! We are always ready to follow you. :)
    I am so sorry to hear about your daughter's grief. Probably we more fortunate ones can't even imagine how it is to go through such losses. Mother's Day, in your family, will be surely celebrated with much love and joy.

    I would choose the stewed rhubarb over ice cream.

  23. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's losses. Mother's Day is a holiday fraught with peril so it's important to be sensitive to those who find this day painful. But I hope that you enjoy your Mother's Day weekend!

  24. What a lovely post. I hope you have a wonderful if sometimes poignant mother's day. Your garden flowers are lovely and I love stewed rhubarb and ice cream, but then again I like cheesecake too:)

  25. I'm so sorry to hear of your family's loss of those little lives. I think too of those whose "Mother's Day" is not a day of joy. This will be my first without a Mom here. On a brighter note, your bouquet is absolutely stunning. And, I would choose the bars. God bless mothers everywhere and those who have a mother's heart but no child to lavish their love upon.

  26. A lovely ramble Lorrie. Thank you for sharing as you celebrate the joys and remember the sorrows on the occasion of Mother's Day. (I sympathize and empathize because we have known similar joys and similar sorrows in our extended family.)

    Your flowers are just beautiful. I would choose the stewed rhubarb because I'm lazy, but I hope you chose the bars!

  27. This was a DELIGHTFUL mazy ramble, Lorrie. Your little joys and those tender sorrows -- the ever mingling of hope and joy and sadness while we're alive on this dear old planet.

    Loved all your beautiful photos ... lilacs especially, not to mention the blue, blue ocean; oh, and that garden posy in array of colours sweet and bold. Well, let's just say I loved them all.

    Someone earlier mentioned rhubarb custard pie, but since it wasn't on your choice list, I'd be up for stewed on ice cream. Simple yet yummy.

    Wishing you a beautiful Mom's Day and a happy week ahead...
    Brenda xox

  28. Yes, Mother's Day is difficult for many; such a bittersweet day of celebration.
    I can hardly wait for the scents of early summer, lilacs have formed their flowers and perennials are getting ready for their turn to shine. The garden bouquet you made is lovely, I love bachelor's button - the annual and perennial varieties.
    It looks like my rhubarb might be ready for picking as well and I generally just stew it although I plan to email Vee for her rhubarb custard pie recipe - that's twice I've seen her recommend it. lol

  29. Wow - your garden is way ahead of the ones over here. Barely anything is blooming.

    Such a touching post about mothers - often we forget about others with pain. We lost 6 babies and each one is still as dear as can be. Thank you for being so thoughtful and sweet.


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