to THIS....
We're in the home run stretch of this move. The movers come on Thursday afternoon to load everything up and will deliver it Friday morning in Parksville. We'll spend the night at our daughter's home.
Over the past several weeks this place where we live has been transformed from a home into a house, a mere shell of the life it once held. Grief and loss are represented in the packing up of treasures of memories. A sense of forlornness fills the rooms. Pictures removed from walls leave blank spaces that are echoed in my thoughts of our immediate future.
This house, our home, has seen enormous joy and enough heartache to make the joy brighter. One high school graduation, three university graduations, two weddings, innumerable raucous family dinners, overnight guests from near and far who have shared pieces of our lives, game nights by the fire, great cooking, dreams, sorrow, and tear-inducing laughter.
This move is our 20th major shift in 33 years of marriage. I grieve moving away from this home because it's the last place we have lived together as a family. It's the place we've lived the longest - almost 8 years. In fact, that doubles the length of the previous longest stay. I know that our new home will be filled with even more laughter, joy and fun times together as a family, but the children will come only as visitors. And that's the way it should be as children grow up, leave home and make their own homes. There's an adventure awaiting Tim and me and I will embrace it in time. But for now, a little grief is in order to enable me to move on.
On Sunday night, the concept of home was reinforced here. Our youngest came home to spend the night because she was sick. Her boyfriend didn't think she should be alone and brought her here, vomiting and pale. We dragged a mattress from the pile, rummaged to find sheets, blankets and towels, and tucked her in. She had a nasty bug and she spent a sleepless night. Yesterday she managed to hold down some liquid and a few crackers but she spent the day on the couch. I wandered in and out of the room, talking when she felt like it, letting her snooze as needed. And I realized that home is more than a house - it's about the people who love and live together whether or not we all share the same roof. I was so very, very happy that she came. Thank you Ashley. I'm sorry you were sick, but you have given me a tremendous boost.
On Sunday the church gave us this beautiful bouquet of flowers. It's wonderful to have something beautiful to look at in the midst of the current chaotic state of our house.
Last night a group of my friends with whom I've worked in the women's programs at church took me out for dinner and gave me this planter filled with beautiful herbs. I am so blessed.
I don't make friends easily and I'm dreading starting over again. But one thought I had when I found out that we were moving comforted me - my blogging friends will still be there, and I can visit you every day. You, my readers, mean a lot to me. Thank you for reading and for commenting. I've found connections through blogging that have surprised me and make me smile. You are my friends and I treasure you.
Lorrie, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers these coming days! Once you get moved in, get things put where they belong and some 'normalcy' returns, things will get better. But I'm sure you'll still miss 'home' for a while. Bless you! Becky
ReplyDeleteOh I feel for you! As a retired military wife I have lost count of how many times I have moved in my adult life. Each time I mourned the loss. Many of the homes where we made precious memories are no longer there as bases have been closed and the homes bulldozed. I wish making friends were as easy as the days on the playground. I always give myself 6 months to figure out how to bloom where I am planted. My best wishes for many happy memories in your new life and future home. Travel mercies to you and your treasures. May all arrive safely.
ReplyDeleteI do understand your feelings of loss over your home. It is our safe place. I'm sure that once you get things in place in the new home, and begin to make it yours, it will also begin to be 'your home' again, and you will start new memories.
ReplyDeleteLorrie, so much of what you've written has been true in my life too - the moves, the leavingtakings, the new beginnings. I know that you'll make a home in Parksville - one that your children will find every bit as much 'home' as the one you're leaving. I wish you every happiness in your new place - new adventures, more friends and the peace and joy of living in a beautiful oceanside community. I look forward to spending a day exploring with you up there in the not too distant future.
ReplyDeletexo
PS In all our years of moving, the best days were the ones on which the moving van drove away with all our possessions - and the moment, when I'd think of my husband and children and realize that everything else is peripheral.
This post is really a very moving one ! The move, your daughter, your thankfulness... it really brings tears to my eyes. Good luck to you for your move, it really is heartbreaking to leave, but so exciting to find new surroundings ! I will be thinking of you very much these coming days.
ReplyDeleteLorrie, I'm writing with a lump in my throat. You have so perfectly described what home is and what it isn't. It's okay to grieve for a while and then you'll be ready to create a new home from nothing more than some furniture and fabric and art for the walls and your own precious heart. All the best to you and your hubby as you make this move. And, you're right! Blogdom is going along with you... as is the Lord. How cool is that?! Hope that your daughter is back up and at'em. You need all hands on deck.
ReplyDeleteOh my.... changes, upheavals and transplants are so often unsettling and unnerving, and so I send you heart wishes for His grace and peace to see you through it all.
ReplyDeleteJust imagine it, here in blogland, we'll be waiting with baited (or is that bated) breath as you discover new vistas to share with us.
May your new home be waiting for you with open arms of welcome and joy... and may peace be within its walls, ready to absorb the shock of the transplant of your tender roots into their new 'bed'.
Hugs......... Brenda
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow Lorrie and will pray for you when I go to bed which will be somewhere around your afternoon.
ReplyDeleteMoving house not easy but as you have done it many more times than me I don't need to tell you that.
I do sincerely hope and pray that your new home will be more than you could have imagined. The best is yet to come.
May the annointing of the Spirit rest over your roof top and touch all who enter.
LOve Barbara
I will be thinking of you tomorrow..Take care,, be safe..You are a lovely and creative person..Parksville will be happy to welcome you..As I live on the mainland, maybe I will be able to meet you some day...My thoughts and prayers are winging their way across the strait..
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you...I know it's hard. DH and I've been married 33 years, too! God will bless this move...I know He will. Big hugs!
ReplyDeleteOh bless you, sweet friend. I am sure that your emotions are all over the place right now. Whenever we've had to make a move (our last was after eight years and the longest for us in one spot, too), I always think of how the Lord doesn't want us to become too comfortable here on this earth. It always reminds me that this is not really Home, and like Abraham I am longing for a better place. May you find peace, joy, and rest in your new temporary home, but not so much that you're not longing for the Better One.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Christi
Lorrie,
ReplyDeleteI have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat after reading your post. I think most of us can relate to how you are feeling right now.
I'm glad that your daughter "came home" one last time, although I'm sorry that she was sick.Hope she's feeling much better now.
You may well be in your new home when you read this comment and it might all seem a bit daunting still, but remember your friends are all out here wishing you well.
~Maggie~
Good Morning Lorrie,
ReplyDeleteI can identify with you as well. This move has taken us away from everything that we've known since birth. But, it has opened a door to a new beginning and to a better life. I do hope your move will prove to be the same. Remember that when GOD closes one door, another one opens. Best wishes for an easy transition.
I will be talking to you later...